You will continue to touch our lives

Posted by Nitin (Shanghai, China) on 12 May 2015 in People & Portrait and Portfolio.

"There is no lonelier man in death, except the suicide, than that man who has lived many years with a good wife and then outlived her. If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it."
--
Ernest Hemingway

I could not think of a more apt statement, after the loss of my dear aunt ('Saloni Mami') almost 3 weeks ago.

There has rarely been a day ever since that I have not thought about her. It is unfortunate, but it's also unfair and equally mysterious. Why would god take away someone who is all but 62 years old, pretty healthy (by Indian Standards) in a sudden heart attack (or cardiac arrest) - all in a fleeting few minutes without even giving a chance to say a good bye. And we just met her a few months ago - as always smiling and welcoming us during one of those many evenings when we would sit with her, her father in law, and my mama ('uncle') in that little room outside their house and talk about life in Shanghai or married life or just health. I remember the last time we had chatted it was about how I had got a juicer for my parents cos they need to consume atleast something healthy on a daily basis.

The fact is I am sincerely hurt, thoroughly shocked, as all those other people closer to her in her family. But the fact that we shared the same birth day and would call each other each year probably brought us closer together, and connected us by a common thread. Even in years when I would forget her birthday she would sincerely call me and then we would wish each other a very happy birthday. Thus, in a little way this year my birthday would be a little lonely.

She was a very kind-hearted woman, and was a wonderful singer, and I also recall her playing the Sitar in former years. My mother and she shared a lot of common bonds - they playfully studied law together, studied music, went to activities. My mum was a favorite in their family before my mother's marriage, where my mama ('uncle') had 3 brothers but no sister, and my mother filled in that gap.

She certainly did have the respect of all those around her. As Oscar Wilde rightly puts it:

"One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation."

She will be thoroughly missed in our lives, and I will look back at those memories fondly. She is one of the dearest and nearest people I've lost in my recent years and that makes the pain even harder to bear. God be with her, with my uncle - who I feel deeply for, and her sons and daughter-in-laws and grand children.

Atleast she died in peace without any suffering and having ensured that her children were leading peaceful lives. It's really my Mama who it is unfair on, and deserves all the strength and courage to move on.

k@ from Paris, France

You are all beautiful here and I think of you for that loss, tender thoughts****

26 Jun 2015 8:29am

Robert D. Burr from Kingston, Ontario, Canada

So sorry for your loss

27 Aug 2015 3:41pm

 

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